worker amongst workers

heh, heh - got a job. True, it's at about 37% of what I was making, but it's gonna bring much happiness so there. And helpfulness. And I believe it was HP inspired. Vs. the bitched-out inspired.

Had to leave home this a.m. cuz it wuz hub's day off. So I began by hangin' in the AA parking lot, in my car, my home/office-away-from-home(office). I'd done did a little meditating, taken a shower, wore a suit, even put on some make-up and now...what? So I began with an exercise for people who don't really know where to go from here. They're stale-mated by the past.

The list began with:
In what venue(s) do you have experience, and how much, and where does thy happiness factor thy within eachin'? And so I began like-a this-

Housecleaning :-/ (apathy) 3 (Ranks exp. level, 5 being very proficient, etc.)

Self Employed :-) (happiness) 1.5

Restaurants :-( (unhappiness) 3.5

Travel :-/ 2

Books :-) 3.5

Music :-) 2.5

Kids :-) 4.5

Advertising :-/ 3

Print :-/ 4.5

Alcoholism :-) 4

Secretarial :-/ 4.5

Retail :-/ 2.5

Telephone :-/ 4

Grocery :-) 4.5

Proofing :-) 3.5

Analytical :-/ 3

Pets :-) 3.5

Then I took the happiest boogers and lined up the more experienced and picked the first few and started coming up with possible matching job titles:

1. Kids 4.5 Daycare Worker, Substitute Teacher, Counselor, Babysitter

2. Alcoholism 4 Circuit Speaker, Drug Education Instructor, DUI Class Instructor, Asst. Hospital/Counseling Center Worker (bee)

etc., etc., it was VERY EYE-OPENING.

I went and got a job today, after this one hour exercise 'dis mornin', at a new child care facility - Just knocked and asked with resume and references in hand. I start tomorrow at 10:30.

Fuck corporate america.

Direct Spatter

I hate being bossed around. Thus the implication, in my mind, where I live, that you're trying to direct my actions annoys me and I'll oft do the opposite of what I even wanted to do, fearing you'll get the idea that you have "the power" and'll keep on doing IT.

My brain is AB(Abby)normal. And it needs to be washed.

Currently, I am being bitched at and so I'm not in a very good place right now, there may be something seriously wrong with me - my husband says I need to go find a job and quite frankly, I just don't want one.

So tomorrow I have to go out and find a J-O-B. I know it's the right thing to do. I just had a really bad break-up with my last employer and didn't really want to commit to this type of relationship again so soon.

Good. He's sleepin'/snorin'/whatever/ni-night. Don't let the sandman hit you on the ass on your way out. Sheesh!

So how does your/my brain 'justify' NOT workin' and lettin' Mr Ocean Dirt Granules to be the responsible source o' income? Well...
- it's not like he does housework. Even when I was workin'.
- it's not like I haven't looked/a bit/gone on interviews/a few
- and now I'm responsible for his dog (that he's NEVER picked up the poop in the backyard from said animal's asshole even tho that was ONE of the promises when I agreed he could bring Mr ate my pecan pie the other day doghead home from arkansas nuff said huh?)
- plus, I still think if you took the amount of time I've been outta work vs. him, the amount of shit I've been willing to step up to the plate and lick off, the massive court dee-vorce settlement check and two bonus checks I brought into this union, my credit cards that took us low, low, low, low, low....
See how EASY it is???? Do you know what an ism is? Above is an excellent example. Acronym's been heard recently as "I, self, me" (I thought 'dat was berry good...) and I'm full of that kinna crap.

So how can I make it better? That's all that matters. Right now, I could at least let the dog out to go pee and keep dreaming/visualising about that doggie door. And take my rozerem (boo!) I truly hate sleeping. 'Cept when I'm doin' it.